The Pain In Your Neck May Be A Gift

Sue put on a happy face and worked even harder to make things better but the more she worked the more things remained the same.

Sue was a 62- year- old professional woman – recently retired. She had a beautiful home, children and grandchildren. But, she was not happy in her marriage for multiple reasons. Well- meaning friends would make comments: “Well, it’s not that bad. My cousin Harriet, …” Or, “You know, if you don’t work the issues out in this marriage, they’ll follow you to the next.” Or, “Maybe you just need to go away on a vacation.”

These comments left Sue feeling invalidated and questioning her own intuition. She began to doubt herself. “If friends think it isn’t that bad then maybe it isn’t. Perhaps I’m just too sensitive and maybe I need to work harder.”

Sue put on a happy face and worked even harder to make things better but the more she worked the more things remained the same. She’d say to herself, “I’ve had enough.” Next day she would awaken to try something different.

Over the next three years, Sue shut down, withdrew and felt completely isolated as her attempts to communicate with her husband were met with anger and defensiveness. Her frustration and anger continued to build. One day, Sue exploded over a trivial incident. Several days later, a similar scenario occurred and another explosion. For Sue these outbursts felt like an ‘automatic reflex.’ She was unable to be silent any longer. Her husband became angry at her anger and a short time later announced that he had found a place to rent; they would sell their home and find her a nice little condo.

As the moving process began Sue tried to be respectful and gracious. One morning she awakened with excruciating pains in the back of her neck and head that neither a massage nor extra strength Tylenol could relieve. At dinner, while pointing to her neck, Sue spoke these words: “When a relationship causes this much pain, it’s time to call it quits.”

“Call it quits? Is that what you want?” Her husband threw his wedding band on the table, gathered his personal belongings and left.

Sue did not know from where the courage came to speak those words. With the help of her personal coach, she was able to make the distinction that the pain in her neck actually had a positive intention – to help her be strong, speak her truth even when it might hurt and to take extreme self- care. With this new perspective, Sue could be grateful for her mind body connection and stay focused on being true to herself, her healing, building her new life – and was more easily able to develop a plan of her own design that served her highest and best good rather than getting swept along in a design by someone else.

  • Are you a woman who is tolerating disrespectful behavior in a relationship?
  • Do you feel frustration and anger about the same things or trivial matters?
  • Is much of your focus on ‘him’ and making things nice?
  • Are you experiencing pain in your body?
  • If your pain had a voice, what advice might it give you?
  • Is this relationship serving your highest calling?

Contact Bonnie today by phone or text at 587.227.9945 if you are interested in life coaching to pursue answers to your relationship questions and discover what you truly want in a relationship and life. Life coaching is especially empowering and freeing because life coaching is rooted in the belief that you are whole and complete now. The focus is on clarifying where you are, where you want to be, and taking steps to accomplish the goals you create (at your pace). The past is respected as history. Life coaching does not include dissecting the past or considerations of right or wrong, should or shouldn’t.

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Contact Bonnie if you are ready to move from a stressful, pressure- filled life to peace, ease and quality time.
Discover how life coaching can help you create the life balance you desire.


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